


Melashcholy

by Kattlarv



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Depression, Drug Use, Forced Orgasm, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecurity, Masturbation, Minor Injuries, Monologue, Non-Human Genitalia, Orgasm, Pain, Regret, Sad, Sad Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Frustration, Swearing, Teenagers, Trauma, Vaginal Fingering, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24121855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattlarv/pseuds/Kattlarv
Summary: Ash is trying to cope with everything that's happened, and tries to get a little alone time.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	Melashcholy

**Author's Note:**

> (I originally just tried to make a "sad wank" with Ash, and... it kinda spiralled.  
> There's some "gross" stuff mentioned in this but, nothing outside of regular Final Space stuff.)

With a deep sigh, Ash stared at the wall. She slowly lowered her gaze towards her open palms. They began to quiver before she crossed her arms and leaned her head against them. “Never good enough...” She muttered. “I can’t save anyone I just...” She grit her teeth and lunged backwards, splaying out in her bed. She trembled as her eye glazed over before she exhaled and slumped down. Her eye shifted back.

“Why won’t it stop hurting? It’s only ever dull or faded. Then it flares back up just out of nowhere.” She mumbled. “And then it’s all cold at the base of my spine. My eyeball aches and just... ugh... it’s not a pleasant discomfort.” She huffed. “Unlike vomiting. That’s the shit...” She sighed wistfully. “It burns really nice, and then you just feel amazing afterwards.” She rolled over with a grunt.

“And I’ve already peed today, so my UTI won’t do jack...” She punched the wall and bruised her knuckles. She curled up and whimpered. “Maybe I should try another approach?” she whispered. She slowly sat upright, glancing down towards her nether region. A shiver ran down her spine. “Fine... I could do with a little hormonal pick me up...” She huffed. She slid her pants off and scanned her room. 

“I should have at least half an hour.” She noted. With a deep breath, she tried to make herself comfortable in her bed. “Should I use aid?” she pondered aloud. She shook her head. “No... that’d just be awkward.” She mumbled. The pinkette ran a finger along her slit before lifting it up before her. With a frown, she rubbed her dry finger against her thumb. “Ugh, you’re so useless...” she sighed.

The teen fondled the side of her mons, impatiently sitting back up to glance down at her meat flower. “Are you even gonna start this time?” she asked in an agitated tone. She peeled her lips aside, glaring at her family jewels. “You’d think with two clits, at least one of you fuckers would do your job!” she growled. “Come on! I don’t have time for this! This is the one time I ask for blood to be flowing!” she snarled.

She moved a hand to polish her pearls, a finger on each. “Seriously! How come I’m the only girl with this issue?” she whispered, tears began to well up. “I never asked for any of this...” she stated, her voice began to crack. “Sure, I can have mystical powers and all that. But I can’t even get a fucking erection...” She said sharply. “Is that really so much to ask for?” she murmured solemnly. 

She pressed harder against her nubs and grimaced. “C’mon... you have  **one** job!” she grumbled. “Do I really need to treat you with silk gloves for five minutes?” she groaned and flopped to the side. “Fine...” she muttered and began to stroke along her mons. “I wonder if Nightfall happens to know serapentian anatomy... she seems to know her stuff. Bet she knows how to effectively rub one out...” Ash mused.

“... that would be  _ waaay _ too awkward though.” She stated. “Like: Hey Nightfall! I know you’re like, more than twice my age but... mind teaching me how to jill off?” the teenager noted in a mock tone. “Pfft, yeah right. That’d go over well.” she scoffed and resumed rubbing. A few minutes passed without much progress. “... what if I’m just broken? This can’t be normal, right?” Ash questioned herself.

“I mean... It sometimes works. But... Most of the time it’s just like this.” She murmured and clenched her fist. “Why can’t anything be easy? I just need some endorphins to feel okay right now...” She whimpered. “Wishing I was dead has become more frequent... but what would it all have been for in that case? There’s HAS to be some meaning to all of this!” she stated while she raised her voice.

She curled up and idly kneaded her mons. “What else would all this have been for?” she murmured. “Harp, Fox, my entire freaking childhood... my ‘life givers’... and most of my teen years... Jordan you dipwad!” she sputtered. “Life can’t just- be this awful, can it?” she questioned. The pinkette took a deep breath. “There’s some purpose for this... there’s some purpose for this...” She muttered to herself.

She clutched her skull. “Ngh... why does everything have to be so complicated?” she groaned. With a huff, Ash fiddled with her clits once more. She narrowed her eye and clenched her fist. “WORK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” she hissed and walloped herself in the junk. Her pupil bulged out as she tipped over. “For a nerve cluster... you’re no fun!” she wheezed, her voice cracked as she shook.

The teen choked as tears flowed out. She let out a hiccup. “You... give... terrible... pain...” She snivelled. “You can’t even hurt good... pain is supposed to come with pleasure.” She hissed. After laying still for a minute, she slowly got back up to stare blankly at the wall. She wiped her tears and rolled to the other side, pressing the intercom. “Um... Ava?” she whispered. “Yes Ash?” the AI responded.

“Do... Do I have any of those pills left?” she murmured. “You’re going to have to be more specific Miss Graven. Your antidepressants, your anti-inflammatory, any of your twelve prescriptions you also refuse to take, the anti-fungal, that weird substance from that planet you visited that one time or your so called ‘boner pills’?” A.V.A asked. Ash fidgeted. “The later ones...” She admitted dejectedly. 

“You have four left. They are ironically located in your night-stand, which you could have looked through.” The robotic voice noted. “Whatever... you can leave me alone now.” Ash muttered as she let go of the button and rummaged around in her drawer. She found the pill bottle and glanced over it. “Seek medical attention if erection lasts for less than four hours... do  **not** use if you do not possess ovaries... blah blah...” she blew a raspberry.

Her fingers lingered on the lid. “Am I really this desperate?” she asked herself and hesitated. “They just... make me feel so weird... like forcing something that doesn’t want to work, to do its job... like when your leg falls asleep and you still walk on it.” she pointed out to herself. She rolled her eyes. “Oh, great. I’ve started talking to myself again... more so than usual I mean.” She huffed as she fiddled with the bottle.

The pinkette rubbed her forehead. “Ugh... whatever, I need a distraction.” She sighed and unscrewed the lid, picking out the octagonal burgundy pill before closing it back up. She opened her mouth and moved the pill closer before coming to a halt. She flipped the bottle over, eyeing over the instructions. “Don't take on an empty stomach... don’t mix with intoxicants... ingest with liquid.” She read off the label.

“Right, I wasn't sure about that last part.” she clarified and rummaged around in her quarter. She pulled out a thermos and opened it. She sniffed. “Hm... no clue what this is.” She pondered, then took a sip. She smacked her lips. “Maybe an old smoothie?”the teen mused. She tapped on the lid thoughtfully. She shrugged and took a swig, then chucked the pill in her mouth and gulped. She scrunched her nose.

After the girl put the thermos back, she laid back down and sighed. “And now comes the waiting game before this kicks in...” she muttered. She ran her tongue across the roof of her mouth. “Hm... I think it might have been mouldy... neat!” she exclaimed. “I honestly can’t recall what I put in there though...” She stroked her chin. “It can’t be the trail mix Fox made me a few weeks ago.” She mused.

“...Or?” she pondered with furrowed brows. “It had chunks in it, but the consistency of a smoothie...” She murmured, then drummed her abdomen. “I’m just... so tired...” Ash added. “I want to sleep. Yet, here I am. My body wound up over something. The bottom of my spine is cold. My eyeball is throbbing and my mind is just addled...” She noted while staring blankly at the bunk bed above her. 

Minutes passed as she gazed upon the metallic sheen. A quick jolt roused the serapentian. She sat upright with a weak smile. “Ooh! It’s finally kicking in!” she chimed. The teen rolled over and planted her face firmly into her pillow. “Let’s get this show on the road~” she let out a muffled announcement. She slid her fingers back down to her nethers, parting the now engorging lips.

“Seriously, this isn’t very hard... to get hard. Why is my body so bad at it? Nothing works the way I want to.” She muttered as she adjusted her head. She circled her pearls delicately and took a sharp inhale of air. She moved between the two as she grew more and more tense. “Ngh... fine, left.” She gasped as she exhaled and shivered. She focused on her left clit as she rubbed around the bead. 

“Why do I even have two if I can only use one at a time?” she huffed. The girl perked up as a mischievous smirk crept across her features. “Ooh... I wonder how it’d feel to have someone touch both at once? They get too sensitive for  **me** to tend to but...  _ someone else _ ~” she cooed as she took a firm grip around the clit. “They’d be able to hold me down and-” she trailed off, her enthusiasm drained. 

“Ugh, who am I kidding? My powers would just go haywire... what’s up with my vulvae anyhow? It’s like... weirdly sensitive.” The pinkette pondered. “There’s good and bad pain. Same with discomfort. Yet, I can only seem to get the bad variety with my junk.” She furrowed her brow. “Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s another birth defect...” She added with a drawn out exhale and slumped down.

With a yawn, she rubbed her eye. “Man... maybe I should have gone for a sleeping pill... or a stun gun... or even that ‘herbal tea’ Fox keeps bringing up.” She contemplated. Ash grit her teeth and pinched tighter around her nub, a shiver ran through her as she began to stroke. “Moderate does it...” She panted as she lowered her body to align with the bed. She tugged at her slick clit and chirped softly.

“I love the little tingle as it builds up...” She whispered. With a slight shift of her weight, the teen vigorously rubbed her left button. She started to build up quite the sweat. “While I do love my blood surging through my veins, I bet this feels much better when it's not forced... ooh; Or with someone... I’d really like that. That  **has** to feel nice. I’m practically tickling myself right now.” She articulated with a grunt.

Ash then fidgeted. “Ugh... I don’t know if I could handle that though...” She groaned. “All the emotions and all that stuff.” She slumped back. “I can’t handle another loss...” She muttered and rubbed her temple. “Well... I already got this far...” The pinkette sighs and adjusted her grip, as she stroked firmly. She wiped her brow and picked up the pace, as she leaned her head back with grit teeth.

Her hips started to buck as her breathing increased. “Yesss...” She hissed. “Ngh... only downside is how these things speed up the process... or is that a perk?” she mused. “This IS a chore after all...” She sighed. “Not a fan of this drug if I’m being honest. While it DOES work when my body does not... it makes it hard to know when I’m actually about to cum. As it gives me that sensation at least like three times before.” She muttered.

"I much rather prefer some nice food, not drugs." She blew a raspberry. "Must be nice to be normal..." She sighed and closed her eyes. She briefly swapped over to her other clit and carefully grazed it. With a shiver, she went back to the first bead. She resumed stroking as her breathing grew strained as she circled around the swollen nub. "I wish I could do this more often... And without the 'help'..." She murmured.

Ash bucked her hips with a sharp inhale. "C-C'mon... just finish already... I just wanna go to bed..." She hissed. "Give me the endorphins!" she grunted as sweat ran down her forehead. She let go and shivered, her hand cramped up. “Ngh... too much...” She murmured as she breathed heavily, trying to recoup. “Stop going sensitive before I cum!” Ash muttered and grit her teeth. She brushed through her hair.

“Just power through it...” She whispered and reached down once more, taking a firm grip around the same clit as before. She winced as she began stroking it again. “J-Just a little sore...” She huffed and picked up the pace, her legs scraped along the bed as she quivered. The pinkette grit her teeth before biting into her clenched knuckle, letting out a muffled scream. She shut her eye closed as her back arched.

With a sudden jolt, her eye glazed over into darkness as she yelped, a sudden thrust of her hips. She reflexively squeezed her family jewel, which caused her to whimper and curl up as her body shook uncontrollably, enveloped in a deep, violet glow. She wheezed as the contractions tore through her body. She swung a fist into the wall, coughing dryly as she keeled over, trashing in her bed.

She ground her hips into the bed, drool running down her chin as she choked on her tears before her muscle spasms died down. She coughed and rolled over, all but yanking her sticky hand out of her crotch, inspecting her quavering hand. “N-No blood... good...” She sniffled and collapsed, her vision blurry. She laid there for a minute, trying to catch her breath. Her nethers still burned, throbbed.

“That harmed more than helped...” She croaked. “W-Whatever...” She murmured and pulled the blanket over herself as she curled up to the side. “It should wear off in my sleep. At least I’m spent... my head aches but... hopefully shouldn’t take too long.” She added and wiped her tears with her lubricant coated hand, her eye twitched from the sudden burning sensation. “That’s better...” She whispered and closed her eye, breathing slowed down. “Does it ever stop hurting? Or just get more numb? ... is this really my lot in life?” she questioned before she began to drift off.


End file.
